Lamplighter Tarot Challenge Exercise #4

This is exercise four of the Lamplighter Challenge called Ashes to Ashes.

While the cards were moving nicely during the start of shuffling, they tightened up on me a fair amount when asking questions. To work past that, I kept shuffling and slowly began working my way through different versions of the question until I felt the flow come back. In parentheses is the the challenge’s originally worded query.

After posting the shorter version of this exercise on my IG, I’ve had a little while to think about everything written below. I know that I took a bit of a liberty with adjusting the scope of the questions for this exercise. Though the cards wanted to talk about what they wanted, there is an area of materialism that I need to address.

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I will say that in the past I have been reluctant to unpack out of fear (a-ha!) that something will happen and I’ll have to repack and move. There has been a lot of instability in the last dozen years regarding my family’s financial situation. Even before having to walk away from a house and being forced into giving up things that meant so much to me (eg: my grandfather’s desk, the china hutch and dining room table that was an anniversary gift to my grandmother that they worked on together), I had stepped into a lifestyle where I was living out of suitcases. The travelling back and forth was so frequent that the only time I really ever thought it was worth the time to unpack was to do laundry.

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Lamplighter Tarot Challenge Exercise #3

The Perfectionist’s Dilemma is the name of this exercise for Hermit’s Mirror Lamplighter Challenge entitled: The Perfectionists Dilemma.

Prior to beginning, I usually read through the exercise to make sure I understand the purpose and that I have everything I need. That knowledge then carries over into my pre-reading meditation where I give thanks, do a bit of praying, let go of things troubling me from earlier in the day, and just get centered. My prayer for this exercise was to learn how to find the balance between producing the highest quality work and also being in the moment and enjoying the process.

To add some extra information here, I took on a client a short time ago and recently declined the offer to come on-board full time as they had originally hired me only for a relaunch project rather than a more permanent management position. They exhausted their original retainer and a few days ago I sent them a follow up invoice billing the hours accumulated over and above the original amount. This wasn’t a surprise as they had asked specifically about paying for the time I’ve worked and whatever they owe. Typically, I receive payment within hours electronically. I know in my heart of hearts that not only was my rate and billing to them fair-to-generous (they are family friends), but I did excellent work even if they complained I was too detail oriented and working to far ahead.

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Lamplighter Tarot Challenge Exercise #2

[Note: I rewrote this somewhat extensively compared to the original post on Instagram. Over the intervening days, I’ve given these cards and information additional thought. This is reflected in the revision published below.]

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Prudence, Gain, and Wealth are the focus of the second exercise from the Lamp Lighter Challenge hosted by Hermit’s Mirror. The three decanic minors for Virgo in the Osho Zen Tarot are Ordinariness (Eight of Pentacles), Ripeness (Nine of Pentacles), and We Are the World (Ten of Pentacles).

When I do these challenges, I cleanse the deck beforehand and turn the cards right way up. That way, if there are reversals that pop up, I know it’s from fresh energy on the deck. In light of seeing that all the response cards are showing up reversed or mirrored to the focus cards drives home to me the point that these answers are within the context of what’s going on inside of me.

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Lamplighter Tarot Challenge Exercise #1

Sun Lamp is the title of the first exercise for this Virgo Season’s tarot challenge hosted by the amazing Thomas of Hermit’s Mirror. I felt so drawn to participate in this because I have found my drive for perfectionism to be paralyzing. It’s good to want to be great. But when the self-criticism gets to be so loud that you can’t even hear yourself think and you’re up to your neck swimming in anxiety, it’s time to assess.

If I can get in touch with this energy and do some shadow work to repair anything that is exacerbating the negative sides of Virgo energy, I want to do it. I’m at a place in my life, both financially and professionally, where I really need to take things to the next level. This is why I’ve chosen to use the Osho Zen Tarot deck, which is my go-to deck for shadow work more existential insight. I’ve showcased it here a few times in the past. The artwork is so vibrant and inspiring while the guidance is focused more on emotions, psychology, mentality, persona. The italicized portions are quotes from the deck’s guidebook, which I feel are relevant to the subject matter.

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Valentine’s Day 2019 Reading

Was it any surprise that I was going to do a Valentine’s Day reading with The Lovers Path Tarot? It’s such a beautiful deck. And full of wisdom! I keep it in this embroidered burgundy and gold drawstring bag that matches the palette of the deck’s artwork. I had been looking around a bit for a cloth to do readings on for it and happened across this gorgeous vintage Oscar de la Renta scarf with all the reds, pinks, and purples a person could want. My heart!

Six of Arrows and Fortune: Danae & Zeus, The Lovers Path tarot deck.

I have this relative that I’ve mentioned previously, the fire sign. She’s a maternal figure of sorts. She’s my mother’s sister. We have a very complicated relationship and it’s something I’ve really been working to improve. Earlier today, I was trying to help her with something. Unfortunately, it was beyond my ability and she’d have to find someone else to get it sorted. I came back to my desk to do my Valentine’s Day reading and she was sorta floating in and out of my head a bit whilst I was trying to get centered. It wasn’t enough to get me to stop shuffling, so I just went with it. Up come the Six of Swords and the Wheel of Fortune cards.

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Family Guidance Reading

Had a bit of a rough day, partly because I’m struggling with that one fire sign (a maternal figure in my life) and also experiencing episodes of frustration over seemingly not seeing things opening up for me.

The first row of cards illustrates this ‘on the verge’ of a break through, but kinda stuck. All reversed Page of Cups, Nine of Cups, and the Death card.

Asking about what is preventing me from getting to the next level, reversed Temperance, followed by the Five of Pentacles came up. Seeing the two people in this card with the context of being “distempered”, I had to face that this person, who has caused a lot of pain to me and other relatives, is at an age and with certain health problems that is making them unable to be as independent as they once were. Not as powerful (reversed King of Wands), but they still try to project this image (reversed the Magician).

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Impromptu Relationship Reading 24 Jan 2019

This reading actually came out as I was shuffling to clean my cards after finishing up the reading I originally sat down to do. The first out were the King of Cups, Ace of Swords reversed, and King of Pentacles. Oh boy.

I asked for clarity on both Kings. To be fair, I was 90% certain who the Cups was though I do have a couple of Pisces in my life. But the Earth Sign could be so many different people. That’s always been an interesting thing: I draw in (or am attracted to?) a lot of Earth Energy from friends to lovers. Big surprise the Scorpio comes up with the Death Card. I so love Nakisha’s Rabbit Tarot for many reasons, but especially this card. Not going to lie, I had a bit of heartache seeing it and the Eight of Cups together. Sigh. I hear you.

When it comes to readings about love and relationships, I look at tarot reversals with cups as an emptying out of emotions — the person can’t be in denial or keep them contained any longer in contrast to say the Ace of Cups which is positive and jubilant and overflowing happily. In a situation like this where it clearly is in reference to a particular person or energy, I look at this and see an Earth sign with either heavy water placements or presenting as if they are very watery, which may be temporary and only in this situation. I have an ex who is a Taurus Sun with a Scorpio Moon and he is notorious for bottling up his emotions and turning them inward. Could it be him? I wouldn’t be surprised.

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Real Tits Float, Right?

So, this happened: Six of Swords, then both Nine of Swords and King of Pentacles reversed.

And then this happened: The Tower, the Sun, and the Lovers cards make an appearance.

That water sign business at the bottom there, oh boy. Thank God I have a pair of personal flotation devices built in.

I arranged the cards the way I did to highlight the imagery I see, e.g. the change in the couple falling out of the tower to their state in the lovers card, the journey and humbling of the water sign at the bottom.

As an aside, I’m not entirely sold that that King of Pentacles up there is my Taurean ex. I often associate him with the Knight/King. That’s the obvious answer. Moving on from the situation fully, out come the swords, his title/influence in my life taken away. This may be speaking more to a state of mind I’ve been battling, which also relates to Mr. Taurus.

2019 is going to be interesting. I may post the rest of this reading later.

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Fire! Energy! Fire Energy! That’s Also a Lot of Swords

I did a tarot reading for myself last night. Spent about half an hour beforehand expressing my gratitude for my abilities, my experiences, life lessons, the people I’ve met in my life, the people I’ve loved.

The question I asked was: What do I need to do to elevate my vibration to enhance my manifestation and attract what has been set aside for me?

1st row: Sun card reversed, The World reversed, Seven of Pentacles reversed, and The Magician. Life isn’t going to be the best it can be if I don’t put in the work. Seven of Pentacles, to me, is starting the process and laying the ground work. That’s arguably the hardest step. Moving forward through the suit, Eight of Pentacles represents hitting your stride and doing the damn thing. Nine of Pentacles symbolizes all of it paying off and the upgrades and accolades coming in. You’re feeling yourself. You know you got this. Ten of Pentacles is the ultimate in the manifestation cycle, fruits of all the work, living your best life. It’s all materializing. Be the Magician. Bring those ideas down to earth. Be that conduit. Work your magic. Get your ass in gear.

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Carrots or Cups

The Rabbit Tarot by Nakisha van der Hoeven is a very special and treasured tarot deck in my collection. I feel super close to my mum when I use it. Today, I sat down for a break from moving furniture, cleaning, and decorating and decided to have a little chat of sorts.

The Devil card reversed and The Hanged Man: I’ve made some massive decisions starting back in October about my spirituality, religious practices, sexuality, and other things. It’s been so freeing. I can’t explain the relief and happiness that has swept through my life. But, I’m now in new territory. Feeling along, searching, learning as I go. So yes, I do feel a bit “hung up” at times as I look to the different directions that I could go in.

The World card and Six of Cups: I asked my mum if she had any advice for me and boom. Here she is.

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Osho Zen Insight: Notes on Experiences

These cards were from a reading I did a few days ago. I was intending to leave them out during the night (which I did) and come back to them (which I did not). On this day in particular, I was really feeling drained in my energy. Straight up just yawning, weary, rundown. It’s what I call The Waving the White Flag State. Just no more. Leave me alone. Let me crawl into the pillows, under the sheets, into my comfy bed and recuperate. But I didn’t do that immediately. I instead grabbed this insightful deck, and started asking questions.

When I’m shuffling and nothing is coming out (I very RARELY just draw a set number of cards), I’m learning to rephrase my questions, which in and of itself can be very penetrating. Typically when the cards aren’t responding, they feel sluggish or heavy. That’s even really too specific. When I shuffle a deck, I can feel if they want to talk to me. Before I ask any questions, I feel like I can feel where that deck is in responding to my energy when I sit down for a reading. This is part of why I began to seek out decks beyond my Radiant Rider, because the subject matter I needed guidance on could be better addressed with different decks. When I’m doing a reading and everything is flowing and either I ask the wrong question or I’m not listening or accepting of the information or even if the cards are done communicating, in my opinion, I can feel the subtle differences to to understand why no more cards are coming up.

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Expectations and Invites

Today was an angry day. I didn’t realise it until I let myself get pulled into my feelings with a stranger over somebody else’s business. Then I saw how angry I was and that that anger was sourced in several different issues.

I went to a relative with whom I’m trying to repair/build a relationship and they kinda confirmed they haven’t changed. Or rather I had an expectation about something and they showed they didn’t share that expectation. I tend to come away from interactions with them feeling like an employee rather than a family member.

We were supposed to go to an event tomorrow together. I am doing her hair, makeup, and costume. This whole week she has dodged getting together to go over things and she just told me she’s going to be busy all day tomorrow and will be available two hours before the event so that I can make her up and dress her.

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1st Osho Zen Tarot Reading

About a week ago, the Osho Zen Tarot deck arrived and I took some pretty photos of it showcasing the artwork. Just a few days after that, I pulled cards for my first reading. What an insightful experience.

I had been shuffling for a while and – though the cards felt quick and light – nothing was coming out. For a few days prior, I had slept with the cards under my pillow and they had snuggled with my main deck (Radiant Rider Waite) as well as the Lovers Path deck. They were definitely charged. A couple times I reworded my questions. Same result, quick and spirited flow in the shuffle, but nothing. Normally, I’d look at the bottom of the deck to see what was flowing underneath, but instead I just cleared my thoughts. I decided to let the cards talk about what they wanted to talk about.

Boom, a chunk of cards sprouted up stuck together. I can’t remember how many of what is on here were in that group, but I think only the last three were bottom of the deck. I’m going to quote from the guidebook in the order the cards came up. In parentheses is the name of the RW card that shares the same position to showcase the connections and differences. 

XI Breakthrough (Justice): “…the brilliant glow emanates from the solar plexus… if you are now feeling that ‘enough is enough’ [I am.], allow yourself to take the risk of shattering the old patterns and limitations that have kept your energy from flowing… It is the greatest adventure in life to go through a breakdown consciously. It is the greatest risk because there is no guarantee that the breakdown will become a breakthrough… But without facing this danger nobody has ever become integrated [!!!], nobody has ever become an individual, indivisible.” 

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