Got into a rather serious row with my Scorpio friend earlier tonight. I took it personal and he followed in kind. We wound up talking it out almost right after it went down.
Though he was right about what we were arguing over, I brought something into it that while related — didn’t have anything to do with what happened.
A couple months ago we had that big row and I got what I thought would be the closest I’d ever get to an apology for what was said from him. Well, he apologized for all of it tonight.
I was floored. That’s a big deal. The things he said just… I love his heart so much.
The weapon we used to hurt each other earlier was the same: how people perceive us. It was so analogous to how people also perceive Scorpio — that hard shell, the pinchers, the poisoned tail. Not very cuddly on the outside. But man, there are so many instances when I just want to hug him when I see his tenderness hiding away in there. His heart is deep. Not just buried under the armour, but deep in its own capacity.
Had a really good couple of days. Hung out with some mates, played video games, and laughed for hours.
Resurrected my car photography account. I would like to eventually link it here, but I’m not certain that’s a good idea right now. See below.
Some excellent news on the family side of things. I got caught cleaning egg shells for Cascarilla powder by a relative. Wound up tripping and falling out of the broom closet. She was very encouraging and asked if she could learn with me.
I very gently reminded her that not everyone is accepting of a path like mine. She reiterated her support and seemed to understand the reference to my father and stepmum.
I’ve spent quite a bit of time the last few days picking up where I left off in terms of researching deity and different pantheons. It’s a really nice way to build trust in your intuition. Just kinda clicked through wiki and flipped through different bios reading, learning, seeing who resonates. Probably going to take the rest of the week before looking to see if there’s any major concentration, which could direct me to a particular tradition.
I’ve spent a lot of time catching up with my Scorpio friend recently. He gave me as close to an apology as I can hope to get. That’s enough for me. It seems like he’s opened up more in the last few days than almost the year we’ve known each other. I’m pleased to know he feels comfortable and safe enough to share more with me.
Our brief courtship was an eye opener into my behavior within relationships. Also now, I find being a close friend watching him date I’m recognizing patterns that I’m guilty of as well in my own dating life that I need to work on.
I honestly don’t think I would’ve seen things as clearly if it weren’t for him coming into my life and facilitating this, albeit unknowingly.
Life is funny. I had (have, up until five minutes ago) two people in my life that I considered to be my closest friends. Both of them I had dated at one point in our lives and both decided to be friends after the breakups.
Mr. Taurus was the one I had dated off and on since our teen years and the one I had hoped would eventually get his shit together. Mr. Scorpio was someone I just happened to meet and it was unexpected and amazing, but a romantic relationship wasn’t sustainable between us at that point. Very different personalities, but with some interesting similarities. An example? Both played baseball in school. Both no longer can. One refuses to look at, talk about, or watch baseball. Any time I bring it up, he gets mad and won’t talk to me. The other loves baseball and any discussion about it. The sport is actually one of the things that we share and enjoy quite a bit in our friendship. Care to guess which is which?
I had the Tower Moment as I was dictating my notes on the cards. I cried. A lot. Sigh. Well, truthfully, I started crying when the Strength card fell out. It’s not that I consciously feel weak, but rather it’s nice to see/hear that I can “do this”.
Everything here are concepts I am very familiar with for this particular dynamic. It is both reinforcement and encouragement. I need to refocus. If I’m gonna be successful in manifesting I must unblock my energy and let the creativity flow. I gotta let go of what isn’t, move forward toward what will be, and transform.