Spending December with Hekate

Hekate (from The Goddess Oracle by Amy Sophia Marashinsky) is my guide for December.

For the last couple of months, I have pulled Goddess cards from whichever oracle deck has responded. My request is for a goddess (or multiple) to connect with, to look to, to learn from in order to meet the month’s challenges and continue on my journey. This particular deck is one that I’ve had for a while, but hadn’t (until tonight) responded to my energy.

When Hekate popped out, I saw her and felt a wave of sadness. Part of me, the old me, has to die. I have to let her go. I know this has been coming and not just because of all the times the Death Card has appeared in my personal tarot readings. But I’ve felt the increasing push towards change, towards a crossroads as well.

As a young Gemini, I discovered how to transform my exterior to change what I felt inside. If my heart got broken or something negative happened in my life I changed my hair, my appearance, New clothes, different swagger. I’d delete all my social media, photos, journal entries. A complete data wipe and new image of a better OS went on my metaphorical hard drive. Looking back, this is quite the example of Glamour Magick. But I was doing this all the way back in high school, maybe middle school before I first explored witchcraft. I wasn’t erasing memories per se, because I’m still sentimental and hold onto certain items from people. But anything written or illustrated that cataloged hurt, confrontation, disappointment, whatever, I’d dump it. Even burn it. This ability to manipulate my appearance is also why I enjoy makeup and costumes/cosplay so much. It’s the reason why I can use a photo of my face on social media and still be in the broom closet. That’s me, but not the version of me my family or colleagues see. They don’t know her. They wouldn’t recognize her — me in that form if we passed on the street.

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