Energy’s Impact on Unborn Children

I was journaling in my Book of Shadows about Soul Fragmentation and trauma when I started to think about fetal development.

From this University of Maine bulletin: When children are faced with physical or emotional stress or trauma, the hormone cortisol is released. High levels of cortisol can cause brain cells to die and reduces the connections between the cells and certain areas of the brain harming vital brain circuits. Two important possibilities here: damaged or miswired. http://bit.ly/298Y4hg

Regarding a baby in the womb:

At 10 weeks, the brain and kidneys are functioning.

At 19 weeks, senses are developing.

At 23 weeks, hearing is developed enough to pick up your voice and heartbeat and the sense of movement has developed enough to feel the mother’s major movement.

At 28 weeks, vision is developed enough that bright continuous light outside the mother’s body may be detected.

That’s mostly second trimester development. This is purely from a physical/anatomical time line, the progression of awareness and sensitivity a baby has inside its mother. If stress can negatively impact an infant’s brain development, what about an unborn baby who has reached these milestones of growth? And what about the potential for injuring the spirit of that baby or at least negatively impacting its energy?

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Goddess Exploration, Part II

Felt the pull to break out my Goddess Guidance Oracle Deck to see who I should connect with to navigate through January.

Hawaiian Pele and Celtic Aine goddesses hopped out of a nicely flowing shuffle.

With Tutu Pele, the theme of fire and deeper creation through the surface of destruction mirrors a lot of the wands energy I’ve been getting in Tarot lately. A way for me to survive was going dormant. Now, I need to transition out of that and become passionate again, motivated, creative. There’s a lot inside that has hardened and needs to be cracked so that new and fresh can flow through for growth.

Regarding Aine, my Venus in Cancer loves her connection to water, healing, musicality, emotional expression, sensuality, wealth and abundance, and the moon. Her correspondences are air (Gemini & Aquarius power!), rabbits, and is depicted as a redhead! As gentle and caring as she is, there is also a ferocity present. Justice is a theme I get from reading about her. The bit about the rabbits really touched my heart for personal reasons.

I can be nurturing without putting myself in an unbalanced and unhealthy situation. I can harness the power of these gifts to both create and connect to ultimately gain my independence.

Vesta decided to come through on an ending shuffle and is more of an affirmation of the changes materialising within my family unit. I’m seeing great positive progress in certain areas. For that, I’m very grateful.

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Fire! Energy! Fire Energy! That’s Also a Lot of Swords

I did a tarot reading for myself last night. Spent about half an hour beforehand expressing my gratitude for my abilities, my experiences, life lessons, the people I’ve met in my life, the people I’ve loved.

The question I asked was: What do I need to do to elevate my vibration to enhance my manifestation and attract what has been set aside for me?

1st row: Sun card reversed, The World reversed, Seven of Pentacles reversed, and The Magician. Life isn’t going to be the best it can be if I don’t put in the work. Seven of Pentacles, to me, is starting the process and laying the ground work. That’s arguably the hardest step. Moving forward through the suit, Eight of Pentacles represents hitting your stride and doing the damn thing. Nine of Pentacles symbolizes all of it paying off and the upgrades and accolades coming in. You’re feeling yourself. You know you got this. Ten of Pentacles is the ultimate in the manifestation cycle, fruits of all the work, living your best life. It’s all materializing. Be the Magician. Bring those ideas down to earth. Be that conduit. Work your magic. Get your ass in gear.

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Beyonce and Lakshmi

I was studying Lakshmi earlier this afternoon as part of a goddess meditation and then happened to see all these posts just now on IG and Twitter. Right down to the red dress with golden thread, Beyonce radiated that energy of abundance and totally embodies that vibe. Even taking into consideration the Lemonade era and the personal growth she shared with us through her music, I think she’s a great woman to look to for channeling (perhaps unknowingly) the Lakshmi energy – material and spiritual wealth and liberation.

On a more personal note: the symbolism of Lakshmi and Vishnu in wedding ceremonies and festivities is so beautiful. The story of Sati/Parvati and Shiva is incredibly moving. I connect with those stories for the same reason Isis and Osiris resonate with me as well.

I blame my Venus in Cancer.

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Journal: Truth Time

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I’m acting like I’m in control and haven’t relapsed. All those boxes I’ve got stored inside my head of all the things that have happened and that I’ve survived — they need to be thrown out.

Is this the worst binging I’ve done? No. But it is the most self-deceptive I’ve ever been.

I really need to get to the bottom of why I’m doing this. There’s no money for therapy or a program. It’s all up to me to figure this out. I’m going to die if I don’t make changes.

There’s nothing enjoyable about this, only discomfort and disgust. I know I cannot continue living like this.

I need to sit down and make some decisions, set some guidelines. There may not be a support system in my personal life, but there are people every day who battle similar issues and make it work. I can make it work too. This is my life, my health, my future.

I’m still alcohol free. Very proud of that. I just need to get my sleeping regimen back around and get back on a healthy road with my eating. There was a therapy workbook I was introduced to for disordered eating and I’m gonna buy it.

People have made decisions that have impacted not just their lives, but mine also. It’s time I face that and look at myself as well. No more excuses. No more apologist behaviour trying to mitigate how it has wounded me. Yes, people aren’t perfect. I know I’m not. But the fact they are human does not mean I have to forgive, forget, and keep them in my life. Especially when they show time and time again that they don’t factor the fall-out into their decisions. Or, perhaps, it isn’t that they aren’t considering it, but that they are and it just doesn’t factor in much at all.

I need to heal. I need to break free. I need to love myself. I need to repair that little girl inside.

Mr. Taurus emailed yesterday and it put me out of sorts. I hated how I reacted. I hated how it affected me.

These retrogrades. Jesus. I am going to spend today cleaning, planning, organising. I miss meditation and reading and studying.

And writing.

Pull Up

Today was a hard day. I had been so motivated and making progress financially. And today, the behaviour of certain family members was too much. I have been steady getting tired of the dynamic, but avoided confrontation. Trying to keep my head down and stay focused. But an hour ago, I just started crying. Their behaviour hurts me. Their lack of consideration of and respect for me hurts me. A lot. I feel taken advantage of and manipulated. It. Hurts.

Now, I’m sitting here ugly crying and shuffling speaking aloud what I’m grateful for. All my plans and goals. First card I feel and see is Ten of Swords. Yea.

More shuffling. Nothing is coming out. By now, the crying has stopped and I look at the bottom of the deck and it’s The Lovers. I’m a Gemini.

Continue reading “Pull Up”

Swords Reversed Meditation

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I’ve been having a rough go of it with emotions relating to my self esteem/identity and unresolved hurts from both childhood and a previous relationship. Some of these things I have outlined on here in previous posts. Part of the reason why I’ve had a rather long absence from posting is I just did not want to face any of it. Cancer season is emotional. I really don’t like talking about my feelings. Well, I can talk about them in an abstract and clinical way. I just don’t want to feel them. But tonight I gave up fighting it and just sat there and listened.

The meditation was an improvised thing. I was praying/meditating and pulling cards for guidance on why I’ve been so destructive. Towards the end of the reading two cards came out. Ten of Swords, Three of Swords. Both reversed.

Pull these swords out.

Clear as day. So, I put those two cards at the top of my desk. Studied them. Felt them. And just went with it.

I closed my eyes and returned to shuffling.

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Tarot Spread: The Ocean Spread by Kiki’s Cauldron

grimoire333:

kikiscauldron:

The last month or so I have been healing and resting by the ocean. This spread was inspired by that. This is a longer, more in depth reading for self discovery. I have found it to be a playful and soothing read. This tarot spread will be featured in the July 2018 edition of Witch Way Magazine, along with articles I’ve written on Florida Water and shell divination. I hope you enjoy!

this is beautiful

My gosh, what an amazing spread! And with Cancer season round the corner!

I’ve always felt super connected to water and sea life. While I’ve never lived super far inland, the times that I’ve lived further away from the coast than what would allow me to visit it regularly severely hampered my ability to recharge. In fact, during those parts of my life I would find a similar (though much less potent) effect by watching videos of waves on beaches or HD scuba exploration. I was taking a lot of long hot baths and visiting the pool also to just float and feel the water envelop me.

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Manifestation Meditation

Got this up on my desktops, screen savers, lock screens. Trying to channel that Empress energy. Trying to use the Major Arcana as visualisation to stay motivated, balanced, creative, and receptive.

I am ready to heal and build a positive relationship with my past and family (Six of Cups). I am ready to celebrate life and move forward (Four of Wands) with the ultimate goal to have a fulfilling, bountiful family life built on strong emotional bonds (Ten of Cups).

I embrace my inner High Priestess and Strength to facilitate change and rebirth (Death Card) with the goal to attain better balance (Temperance).

I am ready to make better choices, the right choices against negative and sabotaging behaviour (The Lovers card). I am open and ready to receive love (Ace of Cups) and experience positive exchanges of emotions as well as the possibility of love (Two of Cups).

I will channel and embody Empress Energy (The Empress) to continue my journey forward (The Chariot), full of creativity and drive (Ace of Wands). I will keep my emotions, energy, and creativity flowing with hope and positivity (The Star). The Wheel will always turn (The Wheel of Fortune).

My family, financial abundance, success, and good health will all be restored (Ten of Pentacles).

Sun and Surf

For anybody who needs to just chill and look at something calming.

Went out yesterday just to clear my head. Wound up down in Bradenton and enjoyed the sunset with family. Unsure what it is about water (seeing, hearing, smelling) that affects me so much. Even if I only see the water from the bridge I’m driving on I still feel better. Maybe my attraction to that element is in part due to being an air sign with fire as her second strongest element in her chart (37% Air, 26% Fire, 21% Earth, 16% Water respectively).

Also, I loved seeing the couple sitting together and chatting with each other. In this digital age, I’ve seen so many people walk side by side staring at their phones rather than hold each other’s hands and the like.