Was it any surprise that I was going to do a Valentine’s Day reading with The Lovers Path Tarot? It’s such a beautiful deck. And full of wisdom! I keep it in this embroidered burgundy and gold drawstring bag that matches the palette of the deck’s artwork. I had been looking around a bit for a cloth to do readings on for it and happened across this gorgeous vintage Oscar de la Renta scarf with all the reds, pinks, and purples a person could want. My heart!
I have this relative that I’ve mentioned previously, the fire sign. She’s a maternal figure of sorts. She’s my mother’s sister. We have a very complicated relationship and it’s something I’ve really been working to improve. Earlier today, I was trying to help her with something. Unfortunately, it was beyond my ability and she’d have to find someone else to get it sorted. I came back to my desk to do my Valentine’s Day reading and she was sorta floating in and out of my head a bit whilst I was trying to get centered. It wasn’t enough to get me to stop shuffling, so I just went with it. Up come the Six of Swords and the Wheel of Fortune cards.
So, this happened: Six of Swords, then both Nine of Swords and King of Pentacles reversed.
And then this happened: The Tower, the Sun, and the Lovers cards make an appearance.
That water sign business at the bottom there, oh boy. Thank God I have a pair of personal flotation devices built in.
I arranged the cards the way I did to highlight the imagery I see, e.g. the change in the couple falling out of the tower to their state in the lovers card, the journey and humbling of the water sign at the bottom.
As an aside, I’m not entirely sold that that King of Pentacles up there is my Taurean ex. I often associate him with the Knight/King. That’s the obvious answer. Moving on from the situation fully, out come the swords, his title/influence in my life taken away. This may be speaking more to a state of mind I’ve been battling, which also relates to Mr. Taurus.
2019 is going to be interesting. I may post the rest of this reading later.
I’ve spent a lot of time catching up with my Scorpio friend recently. He gave me as close to an apology as I can hope to get. That’s enough for me. It seems like he’s opened up more in the last few days than almost the year we’ve known each other. I’m pleased to know he feels comfortable and safe enough to share more with me.
Our brief courtship was an eye opener into my behavior within relationships. Also now, I find being a close friend watching him date I’m recognizing patterns that I’m guilty of as well in my own dating life that I need to work on.
I honestly don’t think I would’ve seen things as clearly if it weren’t for him coming into my life and facilitating this, albeit unknowingly.
My natal Mars (not retrograde) is in Capricorn same as my moon. This full moon in Capricorn and Retrograde in Aquarius (my ascendant) really hit me.
The fatigue started Thursday afternoon. I call it that because at the time, that’s what it felt like. I didn’t sleep well the night before and I initially thought I was getting run down. But then I started to really listen to my body. I was sighing a lot. My muscles and actual physical self didn’t feel tired. I focused in and instead realized that I was tired — exhausted even.
Gemini season was rough. My natural instincts were to kinda be quiet and stay to myself. Every now and again I’d pop up and hang with some friends for some laughs. That was a double edged sword until I started being smarter about it. But I mostly tried to focus on writing and working on self.
Going into Cancer season (my Venus is in Cancer and figures very strongly in areas where I’ve needed to work on), I was trepidatious. There’s still a large part of my personality that doesn’t want to talk/experience my emotions. I remember doing a few big birthday readings and during one of them I had this light bulb moment.
I had the Tower Moment as I was dictating my notes on the cards. I cried. A lot. Sigh. Well, truthfully, I started crying when the Strength card fell out. It’s not that I consciously feel weak, but rather it’s nice to see/hear that I can “do this”.
Everything here are concepts I am very familiar with for this particular dynamic. It is both reinforcement and encouragement. I need to refocus. If I’m gonna be successful in manifesting I must unblock my energy and let the creativity flow. I gotta let go of what isn’t, move forward toward what will be, and transform.