Was it any surprise that I was going to do a Valentine’s Day reading with The Lovers Path Tarot? It’s such a beautiful deck. And full of wisdom! I keep it in this embroidered burgundy and gold drawstring bag that matches the palette of the deck’s artwork. I had been looking around a bit for a cloth to do readings on for it and happened across this gorgeous vintage Oscar de la Renta scarf with all the reds, pinks, and purples a person could want. My heart!
I have this relative that I’ve mentioned previously, the fire sign. She’s a maternal figure of sorts. She’s my mother’s sister. We have a very complicated relationship and it’s something I’ve really been working to improve. Earlier today, I was trying to help her with something. Unfortunately, it was beyond my ability and she’d have to find someone else to get it sorted. I came back to my desk to do my Valentine’s Day reading and she was sorta floating in and out of my head a bit whilst I was trying to get centered. It wasn’t enough to get me to stop shuffling, so I just went with it. Up come the Six of Swords and the Wheel of Fortune cards.
Had a bit of a rough day, partly because I’m struggling with that one fire sign (a maternal figure in my life) and also experiencing episodes of frustration over seemingly not seeing things opening up for me.
The first row of cards illustrates this ‘on the verge’ of a break through, but kinda stuck. All reversed Page of Cups, Nine of Cups, and the Death card.
Asking about what is preventing me from getting to the next level, reversed Temperance, followed by the Five of Pentacles came up. Seeing the two people in this card with the context of being “distempered”, I had to face that this person, who has caused a lot of pain to me and other relatives, is at an age and with certain health problems that is making them unable to be as independent as they once were. Not as powerful (reversed King of Wands), but they still try to project this image (reversed the Magician).
So, this happened: Six of Swords, then both Nine of Swords and King of Pentacles reversed.
And then this happened: The Tower, the Sun, and the Lovers cards make an appearance.
That water sign business at the bottom there, oh boy. Thank God I have a pair of personal flotation devices built in.
I arranged the cards the way I did to highlight the imagery I see, e.g. the change in the couple falling out of the tower to their state in the lovers card, the journey and humbling of the water sign at the bottom.
As an aside, I’m not entirely sold that that King of Pentacles up there is my Taurean ex. I often associate him with the Knight/King. That’s the obvious answer. Moving on from the situation fully, out come the swords, his title/influence in my life taken away. This may be speaking more to a state of mind I’ve been battling, which also relates to Mr. Taurus.
2019 is going to be interesting. I may post the rest of this reading later.
These cards were from a reading I did a few days ago. I was intending to leave them out during the night (which I did) and come back to them (which I did not). On this day in particular, I was really feeling drained in my energy. Straight up just yawning, weary, rundown. It’s what I call The Waving the White Flag State. Just no more. Leave me alone. Let me crawl into the pillows, under the sheets, into my comfy bed and recuperate. But I didn’t do that immediately. I instead grabbed this insightful deck, and started asking questions.
When I’m shuffling and nothing is coming out (I very RARELY just draw a set number of cards), I’m learning to rephrase my questions, which in and of itself can be very penetrating. Typically when the cards aren’t responding, they feel sluggish or heavy. That’s even really too specific. When I shuffle a deck, I can feel if they want to talk to me. Before I ask any questions, I feel like I can feel where that deck is in responding to my energy when I sit down for a reading. This is part of why I began to seek out decks beyond my Radiant Rider, because the subject matter I needed guidance on could be better addressed with different decks. When I’m doing a reading and everything is flowing and either I ask the wrong question or I’m not listening or accepting of the information or even if the cards are done communicating, in my opinion, I can feel the subtle differences to to understand why no more cards are coming up.
About a week ago, the Osho Zen Tarot deck arrived and I took some pretty photos of it showcasing the artwork. Just a few days after that, I pulled cards for my first reading. What an insightful experience.
I had been shuffling for a while and – though the cards felt quick and light – nothing was coming out. For a few days prior, I had slept with the cards under my pillow and they had snuggled with my main deck (Radiant Rider Waite) as well as the Lovers Path deck. They were definitely charged. A couple times I reworded my questions. Same result, quick and spirited flow in the shuffle, but nothing. Normally, I’d look at the bottom of the deck to see what was flowing underneath, but instead I just cleared my thoughts. I decided to let the cards talk about what they wanted to talk about.
Boom, a chunk of cards sprouted up stuck together. I can’t remember how many of what is on here were in that group, but I think only the last three were bottom of the deck. I’m going to quote from the guidebook in the order the cards came up. In parentheses is the name of the RW card that shares the same position to showcase the connections and differences.
XI Breakthrough (Justice): “…the brilliant glow emanates from the solar plexus… if you are now feeling that ‘enough is enough’ [I am.], allow yourself to take the risk of shattering the old patterns and limitations that have kept your energy from flowing… It is the greatest adventure in life to go through a breakdown consciously. It is the greatest risk because there is no guarantee that the breakdown will become a breakthrough… But without facing this danger nobody has ever become integrated [!!!], nobody has ever become an individual, indivisible.”
Today was a hard day. I had been so motivated and making progress financially. And today, the behaviour of certain family members was too much. I have been steady getting tired of the dynamic, but avoided confrontation. Trying to keep my head down and stay focused. But an hour ago, I just started crying. Their behaviour hurts me. Their lack of consideration of and respect for me hurts me. A lot. I feel taken advantage of and manipulated. It. Hurts.
Now, I’m sitting here ugly crying and shuffling speaking aloud what I’m grateful for. All my plans and goals. First card I feel and see is Ten of Swords. Yea.
More shuffling. Nothing is coming out. By now, the crying has stopped and I look at the bottom of the deck and it’s The Lovers. I’m a Gemini.
Got this up on my desktops, screen savers, lock screens. Trying to channel that Empress energy. Trying to use the Major Arcana as visualisation to stay motivated, balanced, creative, and receptive.
I am ready to heal and build a positive relationship with my past and family (Six of Cups). I am ready to celebrate life and move forward (Four of Wands) with the ultimate goal to have a fulfilling, bountiful family life built on strong emotional bonds (Ten of Cups).
I embrace my inner High Priestess and Strength to facilitate change and rebirth (Death Card) with the goal to attain better balance (Temperance).
I am ready to make better choices, the right choices against negative and sabotaging behaviour (The Lovers card). I am open and ready to receive love (Ace of Cups) and experience positive exchanges of emotions as well as the possibility of love (Two of Cups).
I will channel and embody Empress Energy (The Empress) to continue my journey forward (The Chariot), full of creativity and drive (Ace of Wands). I will keep my emotions, energy, and creativity flowing with hope and positivity (The Star). The Wheel will always turn (The Wheel of Fortune).
My family, financial abundance, success, and good health will all be restored (Ten of Pentacles).