Lamplighter Tarot Challenge Exercise #1

Sun Lamp is the title of the first exercise for this Virgo Season’s tarot challenge hosted by the amazing Thomas of Hermit’s Mirror. I felt so drawn to participate in this because I have found my drive for perfectionism to be paralyzing. It’s good to want to be great. But when the self-criticism gets to be so loud that you can’t even hear yourself think and you’re up to your neck swimming in anxiety, it’s time to assess.

If I can get in touch with this energy and do some shadow work to repair anything that is exacerbating the negative sides of Virgo energy, I want to do it. I’m at a place in my life, both financially and professionally, where I really need to take things to the next level. This is why I’ve chosen to use the Osho Zen Tarot deck, which is my go-to deck for shadow work more existential insight. I’ve showcased it here a few times in the past. The artwork is so vibrant and inspiring while the guidance is focused more on emotions, psychology, mentality, persona. The italicized portions are quotes from the deck’s guidebook, which I feel are relevant to the subject matter.

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Journal: Hiding in the Broom Closet from Family

Editor’s Note: I’ve gone back and forth on how deeply I want to dive on this as it involves another family member. While I have gone to great lengths to keep this (online and real life) part of myself quarantined from my family, there is always the possibility that they somehow stumble upon this blog. If they ever read this, to them I would say: I believed you were genuine when you said you wanted to build a relationship and so was I. If you have gotten past these issues enumerated below (or would like help in doing so), I am open to continuing forward.

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A few years ago, my father reconnected with a woman he had known overseas and quite quickly married her. There’s a lot of history between this woman and my father, my father and her husband, and my father and my mother. Like my mother, I had no idea about most of it. I’m not sure she even knew all of it before she died as my father had only spilled the beans during their first separation (which happened six months after my mother’s passing). This post is not about my father’s marriage to my mother and their subsequent divorce just as it’s not about the shenanigans he and my (now) stepmother participated in before my mother came along or their eventual surprise reunification and marriage. My mother had remarried (and divorced) in the intervening years so I had already dealt with a stepparent/family situation before. Again, that dynamic isn’t a factor here.

This entry is purely about my stepmother and how she has impacted my journey as a Baby Witch.

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This first time I met my stepmother was the Thanksgiving before my mother died. I had no idea what to expect as my father was very stingy with information about her. All I knew was that she was Puerto Rican, had worked overseas at the air force base where he was stationed, and the love they felt then was just as intense as they felt it now nearly forty years later. He was the happiest I had ever known him to be in my life. Seriously.

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Friends and Family

Had a really good couple of days. Hung out with some mates, played video games, and laughed for hours.

Resurrected my car photography account. I would like to eventually link it here, but I’m not certain that’s a good idea right now. See below.

Some excellent news on the family side of things. I got caught cleaning egg shells for Cascarilla powder by a relative. Wound up tripping and falling out of the broom closet. She was very encouraging and asked if she could learn with me.

I very gently reminded her that not everyone is accepting of a path like mine. She reiterated her support and seemed to understand the reference to my father and stepmum.

I’ve spent quite a bit of time the last few days picking up where I left off in terms of researching deity and different pantheons. It’s a really nice way to build trust in your intuition. Just kinda clicked through wiki and flipped through different bios reading, learning, seeing who resonates. Probably going to take the rest of the week before looking to see if there’s any major concentration, which could direct me to a particular tradition.

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A Skeleton Walks Into a Bar

Forgot to post these calavera themed bottles from my trip to Total Wine last night.

On the left is tequila reposado and on the right is tequila blanco, both by Dona Celia.

I collect all things Dia de Muertos, from plates to figurines to stuffed toys and art. It’s a holiday that I care very much about, but also try to incorporate its values and practices all throughout the year when it comes to those who have passed.

Sadly, I’m not a tequila drinker, but these bottles were beautiful. Wish I could’ve picked up at least the black and yellow one. Interestingly enough, my maternal grandmother collected ornate fragrance bottles and glass figurines. I adore extravagant and artistic packaging. Definitely will keep an eye out closer to my birthday.

Tres Amigos

I’m such a sucker for packaging. Picked up some vodka today to make some Florida Water and stumbled across this trio.

Going to tweak the recipe: red for love intentions, white for cleansing, and the blue I might do for inner work.

I saw Dan Aykroyd’s Crystal Head also had this beautiful large skull with an Aurora Borealis finish that is filled with a vodka made different from the original CHV. But I couldn’t justify shelling out 70 dollars for it right now. Maybe closer to my birthday.

I’m not a vodka drinker and bought this purely for magick work. However, it is supposed to be rather tasty. To make room for the oils and herbs, I’m gonna need to drain some off anyway 👀 and I do have some fresh Cara Cara orange juice in the fridge.

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Goddess Exploration, Part II

Felt the pull to break out my Goddess Guidance Oracle Deck to see who I should connect with to navigate through January.

Hawaiian Pele and Celtic Aine goddesses hopped out of a nicely flowing shuffle.

With Tutu Pele, the theme of fire and deeper creation through the surface of destruction mirrors a lot of the wands energy I’ve been getting in Tarot lately. A way for me to survive was going dormant. Now, I need to transition out of that and become passionate again, motivated, creative. There’s a lot inside that has hardened and needs to be cracked so that new and fresh can flow through for growth.

Regarding Aine, my Venus in Cancer loves her connection to water, healing, musicality, emotional expression, sensuality, wealth and abundance, and the moon. Her correspondences are air (Gemini & Aquarius power!), rabbits, and is depicted as a redhead! As gentle and caring as she is, there is also a ferocity present. Justice is a theme I get from reading about her. The bit about the rabbits really touched my heart for personal reasons.

I can be nurturing without putting myself in an unbalanced and unhealthy situation. I can harness the power of these gifts to both create and connect to ultimately gain my independence.

Vesta decided to come through on an ending shuffle and is more of an affirmation of the changes materialising within my family unit. I’m seeing great positive progress in certain areas. For that, I’m very grateful.

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